egg-rolls:

one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him

i-am-superjohnlocked:

mrsmarymorstan:

pudus:

was it really necessary for me to be born

Possibly not, however Double Chocolate Chip Cookies aren’t really necessary either but I wouldn’t want to live in a world without them!

that is the most uplifting thing i’ve read all day

(Source: momther)

rabioheab:

mom, dad, these are my newborn twins. their names are mom and dad. i named them after you. what do you mean ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ aren’t your real names? what the hell? i already named these kids thanks for telling me now